How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
