o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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