I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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