i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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