Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
