Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
