So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
it's like iHOP with fire
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
