umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
