She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
