Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
