Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
