Farmville is her only friend.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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