I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
