you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
