I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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