never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
