At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
