I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
