R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
