I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
