I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
