Where are you?
In a non slutty way
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
