it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
