Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize