We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
