My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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