Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize