He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
