I didn't shave. On purpose
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
His hands were made for my vagina.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
