Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
