anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
