Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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