I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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