so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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