i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize