Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
