Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
