I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
