Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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