Have you finally orgasmed yet?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
