Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
