Well apparently he's into motor boating.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
