So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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