I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
