Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
