drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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