5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize