somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
