id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
