I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
