Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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