Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Randomize
