Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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