nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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