You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
