So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
