I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
