i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
