Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
