drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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