I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
