In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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