id be glad to
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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