sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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