i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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