Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
