her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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