your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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