I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
