1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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