How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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