drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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