the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
